Is this a Crisis Pregnancy? Is Adoption Right For Me and My Baby? Explore all of your Unplanned Pregnancy Options
There is no greater responsibility in the world than being a parent to a child. There is no relationship that requires more love and patience, and no job that requires more energy than being a mom or dad. Are you ready for it? Have a conversation with your heart. Examine your conscience. Search your soul. You can use these questions to sort your thoughts:
- Am I ready to have a baby completely dependent on me to fulfill every need 24 hours a day?
- Can I feed, clothe, house, comfort, discipline, teach and love a child at this time in my life?
- Can I compromise? Can I put my child's needs before mine day after day, year after year, and be happy to do it, not resentful?
- Will I be doing this all alone? Will I have anyone I can really depend on to help me?
- Am I able to pay for all the things a child will need? Is my child's father able to help me?
- Am I more worried about what my friends and family think than about doing what is best for myself and my baby?
We want to be sure that you have carefully considered your reasons for deciding to make an adoption plan for your child and you are doing it freely and voluntarily. We encourage you to carefully consider alternative plans and options for your child's future and that you obtain advice of whatever family members, friends, professionals or other persons you feel necessary to help you make this decision. There are alternatives to adoption, including foster care, relative care and parenting the child. There may be community services and sources of financial assistance available to you if you choose to parent on your own.
If after you have carefully considered alternative plans for your child's future, you still believe that adoption is in your child's best interests, HVAS is ready to help.
What Adoption Assistance Can I Receive?
NYS adoption agency laws allow us to offer you free counseling, and reasonable financial assistance with expenses such as rent, food, utilities, maternity clothes, transportation, medical care and other miscellaneous expenses during your pregnancy and shortly after the child's birth. We will sit down with you to discuss and assess your individual needs. The goal is to create a plan that will offer you stability before and after the adoption is completed. Although you should not accept assistance if you are uncertain about an adoption plan, receiving assistance does not obligate you to place your child for adoption. You should also be aware that it is unlawful to accept adoption financial assistance from more than one agency or attorney.
How is the Adoption Assistance Paid?
Through the adoption agency, the adoptive parents may pay for reasonable living expenses such as housing, medical expenses, and counseling during your pregnancy and up to six weeks after the birth. HVAS will make the payments to the service providers and physicians working with you. Although you should not accept assistance if you are uncertain about an adoption plan, receiving assistance does not obligate you to place your child for adoption.
Can I Receive Prenatal Medical Care?
Yes! and you should! Prenatal and postnatal medical care is the most important thing you can do for yourself and your unborn child throughout your pregnancy. HVAS will help you find a doctor, provide transportation, or, if you prefer, an adoption agency counselor may accompany you to doctor visits. Some women have invited the adoptive family to go with them to share this experience.
Talking to an Adoption Counselor or Therapist
Talking to an adoption agency counselor for adoption advice does not obligate you in any way to place your baby for adoption. If you do not feel ready to parent and you are coping with an unplanned pregnancy or untimely birth, HVAS is here to provide you with adoption support and guidance while you sort through your emotions. Our goal is to help you understand and evaluate the options available to you both during and after your pregnancy. We are not here to give lectures or make judgments; we are here to provide you with accurate information. We understand making an adoption plan for your baby is a very difficult decision and each woman's situation is unique. For that reason, free counseling is offered for as long as you may need it. HVAS counselors have over 20 years of adoption experience helping women in similar situations. If you wish to talk to a confidential counselor now, please call us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-866-241-ADOPT or you may email us at info@hudsonvalleyadoptionservices.org
Must I Visit the HVAS Office to Assess My Options with an Counselor or Adoption Attorney?
We'll come to you, but we invite you to meet the staff at the HVAS office.
Do I Have to Pay any Fees for Services Related to the Adoption?
No. HVAS provides many of its services as a charitable organization.
Reasons For Making An Adoption Plan for Your Baby
If you are thinking about placing your baby for adoption, you are not alone. While every woman's circumstance is unique, many women throughout the United States and worldwide make an adoption plan for their baby because they are faced with an unplanned pregnancy and firmly believe that it is in their child's best interest. Statistics reveal that one in ten children is adopted. In fact, many children feel "special" because their birth and adoptive families came together to a make a plan for his or her future.
Does the Father of the Baby have Rights?
If the parents of a baby are making the adoption plan together, the father can participate in selecting the family, meeting the family, and receiving photos and letters of the child, if he so chooses. If he does not wish to participate, but is in agreement, he can execute documents before the baby is born and will not have to participate further. To protect any rights he may have, the father of the baby must assume the responsibilities of a father. If he fails to do so, he can lose his rights and the opportunity to parent the child. If you are unable to provide the identity of the father, you can still proceed with an adoption plan. The HVAS adoption attorney will discuss with you what legal procedures must be followed regarding the father of the child in your particular case.
If I Decide to Place My Baby for Adoption, Would you Help me Find a Family?
Yes. HVAS can connect you with loving, stable, financially secure adoptive families who have been pre-approved and wish to offer your child many opportunities and a bright future. Many couples have tried and waited for a long time to conceive or adopt a child. We are extremely careful about the families we accept and everyone is thoroughly screened. Adoptive parents approved by HVAS are ready, willing and able to love, support and raise a child and respect their child's birth history. They are prepared to make a lifelong commitment to a child and to make that child the focus of their life.
Prospective adoptive parents must have received a favorable home study, a process which includes criminal and child abuse registry clearances, personal references, verification of their employment and income, and an assessment that they are ready and able to properly parent a child.
How Much Contact do I Want with the Family After the Adoption?
Each person feels differently about future contact with the adoptive family. HVAS will help prepare a mutual agreement regarding future contact between you and the adoptive family.
Types of Private Adoption
While you are thinking about the best decision for you and your baby please consider the following adoption options. At HVAS we explain the different types of adoptions you may wish to consider: open adoption, semi-open adoption, and closed adoption. The choice is yours and your arrangement can be as open or as confidential as you would like:
- Open Adoption: There are many degrees of openness. You may review the adoptive parents's profile, letters and photos, communicate by telephone; meet them in person, and receive photos and letters regarding the child directly from the adoptive parents. Some open adoptions may include the exchange of names and addresses of the birth and adoptive parents and periodic visits. In some cases, the birth mother has invited the adoptive parents to be present during labor and delivery.
- Semi-Open Adoption: Your plans may include reviewing the adoptive parents' profiles, letters and photos, communicating by telephone, and meeting them in person. After the adoption, you may receive pictures and letters regarding the child from Adoptive Parents through the adoption agency once, twice or three times a year until the child is 18 years old. Many families share holiday cards, gifts and videos. It is your responsibility to be sure that HVAS has your current contact information so that photos and letter can reach you. You may prefer for HVAS to hold your photos and letters until you feel ready to receive them.
- Closed Adoption: You may prefer to have no contact with the adoptive family before or after the adoption. In such cases, HVAS will request annual photos and letters for its files and you are free to request them in the future.
Unplanned Teenage Pregnancy Help
A parent who is a minor has the power to consent to the adoption of her/his child. The consent is valid and has the same force and effect as if you were an adult parent. If you are age 14 or younger, or if you, yourself are a child in foster care, ask us about special rules.
Choosing the Perfect Family for My Baby
You may select an adoptive family for your baby. You may learn about carefully screened and pre-approved waiting adoptive families by reading their letters, seeing their photos, communicating by telephone, as well as having the added comfort of meeting them in person. You may also choose a more confidential adoption plan. HVAS waiting families are financially secure, loving families in and outside of New York . You may have preferences regarding the family composition (married couple or single parent), race, ethnicity, age, religion, education, occupation, location, hobbies, interests, talents, or other attributes. The choices are yours.
When I Go Into Labor
As soon as you let us know that you are in labor, an HVAS counselor will be available to give you all the support you may need. We will help you make a birth/hospital plan that includes whether you desire contact or no contact with the baby, whether you desire contact or no contact with adoptive parents, and if necessary, arrange for transportation to and from the hospital. If you have an open adoption, you may choose to call the family directly, and arrange for them to visit with you and the baby while you are in the hospital.
Can I Make an Adoption Plan if My Baby is Already Born?
If your baby is already born, we can still help you find a loving adoptive family. HVAS has many pre-approved waiting families who are anxious to provide a loving home for your baby. You can still meet the family, and receive photos and letters, or work on an open adoption plan.
Will my Baby go to Foster care?
Foster care is not necessary in most cases. HVAS is a private adoption agency and your baby can go home directly with the adoptive parents upon discharge from the hospital.
When Does the Baby Go Home with the Adoptive Parents?
If you have made an adoption plan in advance of the birth, and signed the legal consent documents after the birth, the baby can go home with the adoptive family after discharge from the hospital. While you are in the hospital, you may see, feed and hold the baby. This is your personal decision and HVAS adoption counselors will help sort your thoughts as you make your adoption plan.
Do I have to appear in court?
You are not required to appear in court. You have the option to do so, however, if you wish to make the placement final immediately.
Do Not Allow Anyone to Pressure You
An adoption plan is such a personal decision that only you can make it for yourself and your baby. Do not allow anyone to pressure you. Before taking your consent for adoption we will confirm that no one has threatened, bullied or intimidated you in any way to place your baby for adoption. Your consent for adoption must be freely and voluntarily given.
Preparing for Adoption
You are not alone. Many women have faced this difficult decision of what is best for them and their children. HVAS caring counselors will help you throughout the pregnancy, after the adoption, and at any time in the future. If you have decided to place your baby for adoption, we are here to support you through the entire process.
What Do I Want My Baby to Know About Me and My Family
It is important that you disclose your family medical and social background information. This background includes such information as how you grew up, if you have sisters and brothers, if you have other children, your education, your interests and talents and a medical history about you and your family. If possible, the baby's father's background information should also be disclosed. This information is important for the child in the future so that he/she has an idea of who he/she is and how they came to be. Adoptive parents will share this information with the child throughout life. Some women choose to write a letter to the baby so that he/she can read it as an older child, and we encourage you to do so.
Can I Name My Baby?
Yes. You may name your baby at the hospital. The adoptive parents give the baby a new name upon completion of the adoption. You may wish to share the name you have chosen with the adoptive parents so that they can share it with the child in the future.
Can I Change My Mind
About Placing Baby for Adoption During the Adoption Process?
Yes. You can change your mind about placing your baby for adoption any time before signing the consent for adoption. If you change your mind after signing the adoption consent, a judge will decide what parenting plan is in the child's best interest. After termination of parental rights, you may not change your mind.
When Do I Sign the Adoption Consents and Make the Final Decision?
You do not sign adoption consents until after the child is born. The father of the child may consent in advance.
What Happens After the Adoption?
HVAS offers post-adoption counseling for as long as you need it. We are here to help you feel emotionally and psychologically healthy. In most cases, birth parents and adoptive parents will communicate directly or exchange photos and letters through HVAS about how and what the child is doing as he/she grows from baby to young adult. Some birth and adoptive families establish lasting relationships so that the child can continue to know his/her birth family. Most women experience a great deal of comfort knowing the baby is in a loving, secure, financially stable adoptive family, selected by them. You can read about their experiences through testimonials shared by others.
Books About Adoption
HVAS will be happy to provide you with free books about adoption subjects such as the experience of making an adoption plan, selecting an adoptive family, children who were adopted, adoption options, etc.
If you would like to know more about the choice of adoption call us today to speak with a caring counselor: at 866-241-ADOPT or send us an E-Mail: info@adoptionflorida.org
